Dear God,
               I read the first part of Corinthians chapter 11 for the plain reason that I should have something to write. Am I evil in that respect? You don't need to answer that because I already know.I should read the Bible more...I don't really know why I don't. All of the Christians I know read the Bible for duty, but I didn't want to be one among them, I wanted to be a person who actually read the Bible because she liked it. That's why I stopped reading the Bible in the first place, in an attempt to be more true to myself. A couple years later, here I am, reading the Bible once again for the sake of writing about it, but I think I was wrong the first time. I shouldn't have quit Bible reading until I found it enjoyable, I should have read the Bible until I enjoyed it.
  Why isn't the Bible interesting? It is just as capable of any book when it comes to impressiveness...I don't know what it is that turned me off it those years ago. The one thing I can say about it is Paul's language which is a bit confusing; he questions and answers, and it's all so mixed up. But I like how heartfelt it is. Sometimes, I find his language too strong, too full of feelings, and it surprises me quite a bit. But these are not deal-breakers, I know these could not have been the reason for my Bible-reading-hiatus. I must have found the Bible boring before, but I assure you I can handle it now (I mean, if people can read the Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, I can read the Bible).
       I suddenly thought that I don't read the Bible enough because I "don't have time," but I had time for a whole day of reading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen yesterday. Why would I not be as drawn to the Bible as I am to Jane Austen? Perhaps it's because I am scared of what I am going to learn in the Bible? Scared that all my ways are condemned...I'm scared that I'm doing everything wrong, and prefer to be partially ignorant of my failures...But I already know about what is wrong and right (in both words' crudest senses).
       I know not what makes me repel the Bible. My children's Bible was always so very interesting, but my real Bible...it was a bit long, and harsh, but that was back when I read the Bible word-for-word. I have no defenses left. I have no reason to not read the Bible.
          Please help me just read it.

Cheers.

Dear God,
                I just realized that we all have different interpretations of You. We all believe that You are all-powerful and loving, but the rest of Your characteristics...they're to our discretion. I believe that You are the just God who the Founding Fathers of the Constitution believed in; the God who believes in the natural, unalienable rights we are all born with: equality, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; the God who lets things happen because You want to let us decide what our life is going to be like. You are, at least according to me, the God who loves us: our flaws, our thoughts, and our choices. I mean, You would never hate a murderer...would You? I believe that You understand what a sinner is going through, and wouldn't hate on him/her.
            The theme of Christianity is to let go of our human weakness. Human weakness lies in white lies, and on a higher level, caving in to people pressure and becoming a little too stressed. We will have to try hard to give up our human weakness, but just God, you're not about to just hate us because of our human weakness. You know that this weakness is built into our system, and You understand.

To me, You are the God of understanding, because understanding is something I crave. To someone who values truthfulness, I'm sure You are the God of truth. We all, those who believe in you anyway, believe different things about You. But I just realized that You are all of those things, You are the God of understanding, truth, happiness.....you are the God of EVERYTHING!

Cheers.

Dear God,
                You know that I haven't been talking, or even thinking, about anything of importance lately. My religious activity has, annoyingly, stooped to becoming high (bad word choice. I know.) only in my moments of desperation. I have fallen into many of these "non-Christian spells," and I've noticed my devoted Christian-ness drops still lower after each time. I'm on a slow, shallow staircase bound downwards. But before I stray off into a a paragraphs of self-pity, I'm going to say that Romans 9:12-18 has stunned me.

12 it was said to her, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 Just as it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”

¹⁴ What shall we say then? There is no injustice with God, is there? May it never be!¹⁵ For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” ¹⁶ So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy. ¹⁷ For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I raised you up, to demonstrate My power in you, and that My name might be proclaimed throughout the whole earth.” ¹⁸ So then He has mercy on whom He desires, and He hardens whom He desires.

So God, You, made the murderers what they are? You made some people bad? You unjustly chose Jacob over Esau? But why? This, of course, explains all the evil in the world; so people aren't inherently bad? You just choose some to be bad and some to be good? Why would there be hell then? How could you put those people in hell, when You made them what they are?
             Is this a challenge? That we must let go of our human weaknesses? How come some people have it harder than others? I mean, some people have been condemmed to a life of sin, and it is going to be considerably harder for them to denounce their life and become good.
             I couldn't find the exact quote but it was something about the strongest suffering the most. You obviously give the strong at heart the biggest challenge. The lightweights in church, they can't boast...can they? Born and brought up a Christian, I can't have been one of the strong ones-I'm lucky.
             So God, you handpicked many to be inherently bad, but you were just challenging them, throwing them away and waiting for them to come back. You thought that they can handle the struggle. You gave us all choice- to see if we would give up our bodily weaknesses.
     This feels good. Thank you for helping me figure this one out :)

Cheers.